here are some very short stories. they're all original...... ;)
• Typical Fairy Tales:
Once upon a time, there lived a fair maiden named Rosalie, who lived in the tallest tower of her castle. She had an evil stepmother. Prince I. M. Charming came to rescue her. Just as they were about to run off into the woods, the Prince had a heart attack and died. Rosalie became depressed. Happily Ever After, the end.
Once upon a time, there lived a girl named Bernadette who loved to dance. She was dancing in the woods with all her animal friends when an evil sorcerer turned her into a white swan. The sorcerer's daughter was a black swan--it was just an accident--and he turned Bernadette into a swan for his daughter to have a friend. Bernadette and the daughter hated each other, so they decided to have a dance battle. They danced to the death. Happily Ever After. the end.
• One-Sentence Stories:
Bob ate a poisonous corn kernel but he survived. THE END.
A bird started singing and then it stopped. THE END.
A girl caught her best friend speaking bad about her and dumped her. THE END.
A dancer rolled her ankle while on pointe and could not dance for five days. THE END.
A button stopped working and the button user had to replace it. THE END.
Here's a few jokes:
there's an old couple, and the man always farts when he wakes up. the lady kept telling him, every morning, that he needed to see his doctor about this problem, or else one day he would fart his guts out. so one thanksgiving morning, the lady was awake really early to prepare dinner for the family that was coming over later. the man was still in bed. after the lady has prepared the whole turkey, the bowl of turkey guts is right there in front of her. she comes up with a great plan to teach her husband to listen to her. she climbed upstairs and dumped the bowl full of turkey guts right into the man's pants. she goes downstairs and waits. after 10 minutes or so, she hears him waking up, then a really high-pitched scream. she waits for the man to come down, but he doesn't come down for about an hour. when he does, she innocently asked him, "what happened?" he replied, "you were right all those times, I DID fart my guts out." she says to him, "aha! I told you so! but why are you downstairs so late, and why... are your pants bloody?" he said, "oh, right.... with these two fingers and a jar of vaseline, i managed to get 'em ALL back in!" O.o
difference between a cat and a comma: a cat has CLAWS at the end of its PAWS and a comma has a CLAUSE at the end of its PAUSE. XD
here's a few riddles:
1) how can you physically stand behind someone as they physically stand behind you?
2) which phrase has correct grammar: "the yolk of the egg is white," or "the yolk of the egg are white?"
3) when can you add two to eleven and get one as the correct answer?
4) what question can you NEVER answer "yes" to?
5) how many times can you subtract the number five from the number twenty-five?
6) A wealthy man named Richard Ellis had been counting his money. When he finished, he accidentally left a $100 bill on his desk. But when he returned for it a short while later, it was gone. Only two other persons could have seen the bill. One was the maid; the other was the butler. The maid told him that she had hidden it for safekeeping under a green book that was on the desk. But when they looked the bill was not there. The butler said he had found the bill where the maid had left it. He had placed it inside the book, where he thought there was less chance that somebody would find it. He had written down the page numbers so that he would not forget them. The bill was between pages 35 and 36, he said. But when they looked, there was no money in the book. After Mr. Ellis had talked to the maid and the butler, he called the police. He was sure he knew who had taken the money. Who was it, and how did he know?
7) four men were in a boat. the boat sank to the bottom, along with all the four men, but not a single man got wet! how is this possible?
8) how can you rearrange the letters in "new door" to make one word? there is only one correct answer.
9) if it takes six men six days to dig six holes, how long does it take for one man to dig half of a hole?
10) here on earth, it is always true that tomorrow will follow today. but there is a place where yesterday follows today. where is this place?
answers in next post, if i remember!
thats it for today. :)
